


Boys Be

by sopebar8D



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Chaos, Confessions, Drinking, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, M/M, Multi, OT13 - Freeform, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-06
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-07-25 22:57:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16207412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sopebar8D/pseuds/sopebar8D
Summary: Minghao's upset, and it seems like only Jun doesn't know why.





	1. Fronting

Minghao was sad, and that made Jun sad too, especially because he couldn’t figure out why Minghao was sad. He knew the younger boy had aced his midterms, and dance practice had been going great recently – Soonyoung had finally approved a lot of Hao’s choreography, which made everyone happy. So it couldn’t have been school or dance. What was it, then?

Since their college was so small, everyone was aware of Jun’s massive crush on Minghao. Except Jun himself didn’t like to call it a crush, because that made it sound sad and defeatist, and who needs the constraints of language anyway? Jun felt no need to confess anything to Minghao. Minghao, who let Jun hold his hand when he was nervous before dance performances, who nagged at him to eat slowly and to wear more layers, and who always wished him happy birthday before anyone else every year. That was enough for Jun.

 _Jun_ , Jun said to his reflection in the mirror in the morning, _you need to find out why Minghao has been so sad for the past three days._ It was his responsibility, after all, as an upperclassman and Minghao’s closest friend on campus. He would start be asking all of their mutual friends, he decided as he carefully adjusted his hair. Maybe Jeonghan would be a good start – he was Minghao’s English tutor, after all, and conveniently such a gossip –

“Wen Junhui, it’s been fifty minutes, goddammit!” bellowed Soonyoung from outside the bathroom. Jun sighed, looking at his reflection. Such perfection demanded proper time and attention, something Soonyoung certainly knew nothing about.

 

 

Jun slid into the seat next to Jeonghan at their 10:10 AM Advanced Spanish Literature discussion. Jeonghan always sat in the back, but on the far right next to the windows, opposite of Jun’s preference for the far left, where the wall tiling left a mirror-like reflective surface. Jun appreciated the idea of Jeonghan a lot: Jeonghan was also very good-looking, even though he was more of a pretty type while Jun himself, surely, was both the pretty and the handsome type. They had never been close, but Jun didn’t remember why.

“Hey, Jeonghan,” he started before seeing that Jeonghan was… asleep? “Hey, Jeonghan?”

The long-haired boy didn’t open his eyes, but Jun knew immediately he was bluffing. _No one sleeps so soundly with so much background noise_. Class hadn’t started yet, but Jun only had a few minutes to get some answers. “Jeonghan, I need to ask you something. I know you’re not sleeping.”

Finally deigning to open his eyes, Jeonghan sat up slowly. “What do you want,” he sighed.

Jun bit his lip nervously; he hadn’t actually planned what he was going to say, although he had envisioned a preposterous conjuring of answers that Jeonghan could provide him. Minghao didn’t talk about his personal affairs or home life in China with anyone except Jeonghan, and that was only because it was good English practice. Maybe, if there were something wrong at home, Jun could surely help – he had many friends and family in China too, so he could definitely be someone for Minghao to relate to. “Jeonghan, I know Minghao talks to you a lot – “

He was cut off with a warm, charming – and somehow, disingenuous – smile. “That’s obvious, seeing as I’m his language tutor.”

“Right,” Jun pressed on. “Obviously. But I wanted to talk to you because I feel like he’s been kind of different lately? He seems sad to me, or I don’t know if you’ve noticed,” Jun paused for breath, trying not to ramble. “So I wanted to know if he might have told you why, you know, since you guys talk so much.”

“Jun.” The older boy shook his head gently, the smile never leaving his lips or reaching his eyes. “I actually thought you were one of the smarter ones. Of course I’m aware of how Minghao is feeling, but as for why, do you really think that it’s your place to ask?” He stared at Jun, eyes wide with feigned innocence.

Suddenly, Jun remembered why he and Jeonghan had never been friends. Jeonghan was the type of student who claimed that he never studied but always received the top test scores in class. Except that Jun knew that he actually never did study, truly able to breeze through his academics on brilliance alone. Two years ago, Jeonghan had placed into the Phi Beta Kappa honor society as a sophomore, breaking national records to the envy and chagrin of fellow students. Genius or not, however, his condescension was unwelcome. “I just wanted to know if he might have told you anything –“

“It’s like how they say, if you have to ask, you’ll never know,” Jeonghan continued icily. “Figure it out, Junhui. Class is starting,” he nodded towards the front of the classroom, where the professor had begun setting up.

Offended, Jun stood up and moved across the room to his usual spot. He seethed through the 90-minute discussion. _What the fuck was that about?_

 

 

“He was such a dick. Like ‘Oh, Junhui, if you have to ask, you’ll never know.'” Jun shoveled mashed potatoes into his mouth angrily. “He thinks he’s so fucking smart and I mean, he is, but how does that give him the right to –“ He took a break to gulp down water. “To talk like that to anyone?” Jun slammed his glass on the table loudly, ignoring Chan’s wincing.

Jihoon waited for him to finish chewing. Jun was perennially good-natured, but as soon as they had seen him approaching with a plate piled high with a mountain of indeterminate foods, everyone could tell – they were in for a hurricane. Wonwoo sat as far back in his chair as possible, hoping to avoid getting hit by any food sent accidentally flying as Jun sputtered bits of cauliflower in his fury. Chan stared in disapproval, Jieqiong anxiously holding his hand as if she were afraid that he would snap and make things worse.   

“All I asked was, ‘Oh hey, Minghao has been really sad lately. Do you know why?’ And he sees Minghao, I don’t know, every other day, so I figured he would know. Someone who really cares about Minghao would want to help his friends help him feel better, right?”

“Maybe Minghao shared something with him that he isn’t comfortable telling you about,” Chan suggested. He sighed, exasperated.

“And why,” Junhui snapped, “Can he not just say that to me? ‘I’m Jeonghan, I’m so goddamm smart, Minghao and I have so many secrets – “

“We don’t know, or else we’d tell you,” Jihoon replied, his voice beginning to escalate. Chan looked nervously at Jieqiong, who smiled reassuringly. He hated when the upperclassmen fought.

Jun stopped eating. “You agree, right?” He pointed a fishstick at Chan. “Minghao’s different lately in practice. Like he’s not into it even though Soonyoung’s finally taking his direction for once. He’s been quiet for the last few days.”

Chan hesitated. “I mean, yeah, he’s a little quiet, but I had dinner with him last week and things were fine. So if anything happened, it must be pretty recent.” He nodded weakly, as if trying to support his own sentence.

“Maybe Jeonghan did or said something that made Minghao sad,” Jun mused. That definitely had to be it. Jeonghan would naturally refuse to talk to Jun about how to cheer up Minghao if he were the reason for the younger boy’s sudden mood change. Jun felt his anger bubble afresh. He chewed his fried chicken vigorously.

“Jeonghan would never.” Wonwoo’s voice was low and quiet. Everyone stared at him. “Jeonghan is particular, but he’s really protective of Minghao. You know, all that mentor-mentee bullshit. If anyone hurt Minghao, Jeonghan would ruin them in heartbeat.”

“Like I wouldn’t –“ Jun began, but Jihoon waved at him to listen.

“I know him. We roomed together last year. Come to think of it,” Wonwoo said pointedly, “If Jeonghan was so rude to you, did you do anything to upset Minghao lately?”

“Me?!” Jun all but shrieked. He ignored Dino and Jieqiong as they stood up and quickly left, clearly deciding that the situation was out of their control.

Jihoon shrugged. “You never know. I can talk to Jeonghan in acapella rehearsal later, but have you thought about maybe talking to Minghao himself?”

“Obviously I have talked to Minghao himself,” Jun returned. “And he wouldn’t tell me what was wrong. So clearly it’s something serious.”

“We’re not saying it’s not,” Jihoon said, stern. “But before you run your mouth about Jeonghan, maybe get a few more perspectives at least.”

“Me, run my –“ Jun started, indignant.

“This assholery isn’t like you at all.” Wonwoo shook his head disapprovingly.

“Well, sorry I care about my friends –“

“We all care about our friends, but I’m just saying –“

Jun stood up. “I’m going to talk to Soonyoung,” he announced, picking up his bookbag. “Maybe he will have something a little more helpful to say.” He pushed his chair in, a little loudly for effect, and walked away. Wonwoo and Jihoon insinuating, or even proposing, that he himself did something to affect Minghao so negatively – _Rude_ , he thought. And impossible. If Minghao needed it, Jun would move mountains and part oceans in a heartbeat. Wasn’t he always the one Minghao cried to past midnight when the younger boy missed home his freshman year, or the one who surprised Minghao with rice noodles and three cup chicken on Chinese holidays?

“Yo, at least take your fuckin’ plate, Junhui,” Jihoon called after him.

“They have mint chocolate chip ice cream today,” Wonwoo offered. His voice carried the slightest touch of an apology.

Junhui ignored them. He had more important things on his mind than dessert.

 

 

No one came to open the door, but Jun could hear his suitemate inside. He could hear shuffling fabric, Soonyoung muttering unintelligibly to himself on the other side of the door.

Jun knocked again. “I know you’re in there,” he called, irritated. “I can hear you.”

More shuffling and frenzied footsteps. Jun heard the click of the lock, and then the door opened just the tiniest sliver, barely large enough to fit Soonyoung’s face, flushed and furious. “What,” he grunted, “Do you want.”

Jun ignored the glare. “I need – Soonyoung – why aren’t you wearing clothes?”

“I’m busy,” Soonyoung muttered. Shirtless, with his bottom half wrapped in a towel, he pushed his hair back. “Make it super fast.”

Curiosity took over, and Jun decided that Minghao could wait a few seconds. “And why is your hair so sweaty? And –“ he sniffed carefully, frowning. “Why does your room smell like you’ve been working out?”

Soonyoung shifted uncomfortably. As he did, he unintentionally bumped the door open a few more centimeters. Jun could see the figure of a thin girl with long red-brown hair sitting in Hoshi’s bed. Her pale arms and shoulders, bare and glistening with sweat, peeked out from under the covers.

“Hey, Jun,” chirped Yuju. She waved at him, smiling, careful to keep Soonyoung’s comforter tightly wrapped around her chest. “How’s it going?”

Jun swallowed nervously. Turning red, Soonyoung scowled. “Like I said, I’m really busy. Make it fast or wait till later.”

“So busy,” Jun rolled his eyes. Remembering the task at hand, he ignored the situation in front of him. “I just want to ask you – have you talked to Minghao lately? You _have_ to have noticed how he’s been different this week. Do you know if he’s okay?”

Soonyoung’s eyes softened, and he opened and closed his mouth several times before speaking. “Minghao,” he said carefully, “Minghao has been a bit different, you’re right. I’m not surprised you noticed, since I know you care about him so much. I definitely didn’t think Minghao would take what you did so personally.”

It took a few seconds for Jun to internalize what Soonyoung had suggested. “Wait – what did I do?” he balked. “Did I do something? Did Minghao tell you that I did something?” Soonyoung motioned for him to keep his voice down, but Jun didn’t notice that he was almost yelling.

“Wait,” Soonyoung looked down, the corners of his mouth twitching. He looked like he was deciding whether to laugh at Jun or to hit him. “You don’t know what – why Minghao is – being – ?”

“No, I don’t,” Jun retorted hotly. “What did I do? Why is everyone saying that I –“

“He doesn’t know?” a brazen male voice shouted from inside Soonyoung’s room. Jun looked at Yuju, who was scrolling on her phone silently, uninterested in his sudden quarter-life crisis.

“How do you not know?” Seokmin repeated as he popped his head out from under the bed where he had been hiding. Soonyoung, face now puce, turned around and hissed at him to stay quiet. Jun thought he would pass out from sensory overload, from the combination of Seokmin materializing behind Soonyoung in a similar state of undress, to this sudden accusation that his friends were making against him – did Jeonghan and Wonwoo and Jihoon and even Chan all know about whatever it was that Jun did that he himself wasn’t even aware of? Did Minghao tell them and – not tell him?

“You really don’t know,” Soonyoung murmured, a look of horrified wonder on his face.

“How – “

“I’m sorry, Junhui.” Soonyoung said kindly, eyes regretful. “I thought you knew. I thought it was… kind of obvious? But I don’t think it’s my place to say.” He started to close the door.

“Wait –“ Jun grabbed the doorknob, holding the door open, pleading. “Please tell me. Minghao’s upset because of me? What did I do? I can fix it right away. Whatever it is, I’ll fix it.”

“I’m sorry, but it’s just not my place. Maybe think about it a bit,” Soonyoung said with finality. “Believe you me, we all want to see both you and Minghao happy.” He paused, his expression indecipherable. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m preoccupied.” He smiled apologetically at Jun and closed the door.

Mouth agape, Jun stood unmovingly in front of Soonyoung’s door long after the rhythmic sounds of heavy breathing and the creaking bedframe began again. He ignored them. His mouth was dry, stomach churning violently from both realization and the peristalsis of his half-digested meal from earlier. He ran for the kitchen sink, eyes suddenly wet. 


	2. When I Grow Up

“You look awful,” Joshua remarked matter-of-factly.

Jun glared at him over a mug of green tea. The last forty-eight hours had been spectacularly hellish, what with the dual combo of acute gastroenteritis and the mental exhaustion of trying to figure out exactly what Minghao could possibly be so upset about. To his dismay – but also, just a tiny bit, relief – Soonyoung had forcefully barred him from participating in dance practice for three days. “Nobody wants to catch your shit flu,” he had ordered. “JR giving Chungha mono last semester put us behind schedule by three weeks. Stay in bed.” Jun had readily complied, half the time unable to walk for two whole minutes without feeling like he would keel over.

Quarantined, Jun spent ample time scrolling through Minghao’s Instagram while mentally retracing every single conversation he had had with the younger boy over the past week. His last normal interaction had been dinner with Minghao over full week ago. Everything had been just fine – Jun had made black bean noodles, one of Minghao’s favorites; Minghao had brought a salad from the dining hall, which Jun refused to touch. Everything had been normal, and wonderful – Minghao beaming as he prattled on about his top marks in his Intermediate Photography studio course, Jun pretending to understand all the technical terms he couldn’t follow, happy just to bask in Minghao’s glow.

He couldn’t for the life of him figure out what went wrong.

“I’m almost better,” he croaked. He wasn’t lying; his fever had broken a day and a half ago, and he was almost back to eating normally again. “I’m behind in all my classes, though, and who knows what choreography they’ve gone through without me.”

Joshua leaned forward. “Not that it’s any of my business,” he said, voice serious, “But I heard that they haven’t been making much progress. So you’re not missing much.”

Jun looked at Joshua suspiciously. “How do you know? You’re not even on the team, and Soonyoung is super secretive about what we work on.”

“No, he’s not,” Joshua snorted. “Don’t even pretend.”

“Fine,” Jun said, shaking his head. “But he wants to put on a front that he is.”

“Right?” Joshua lowered his voice conspiratorially. “But really, I know I shouldn’t talk about it, but while you were sick, they weren’t able to do much, and Soonyoung’s super stressed out right now. You guys’ winter performance is coming up in a month and nothing is ready.”

Jun felt slightly insulted; he was, after all, part of this apparently unproductive dance team. “What do you mean, though? And why do you keep saying that you shouldn’t talk about it?”

Joshua sat back and took a sip of coffee so long and drawn-out that Jun knew he was stalling. Finally, he put his mug down, exhaling dramatically. “Don’t tell anyone I told you, but I heard Minghao missed a few days of practice. He hasn’t been totally himself lately.”

Jun’s eyes narrowed instinctively. “And… do you have any idea why?”

Joshua raised his mug to his lips pointedly. “Do you?”

It took great effort to resist the urge to throw his tea at Joshua’s perfectly symmetrical face. “Everyone seems to know exactly what I did wrong,” he gritted out, making sure to keep his voice even. “Except for me. Would you care to share what you know?”

“I’d love to, but I’m not supposed to.” Joshua shrugged nonchalantly. “You should know that we’re not doing it to hurt you, though. We’re trying to protect Minghao.”

“And why,” Jun gritted his teeth, “Would Minghao need to be protected from me?”

“He’s not like you,” Joshua remarked. “Minghao doesn’t have the entire Chinese international student community as his best friends. He’s introverted and sensitive.”

“I’m sensitive,” Jun said defensively.

“Not sensitive enough to not do what you did,” Joshua countered without missing a beat.

Defeated, Jun swirled the tea bag in his mug gently. “I hate how fucking cryptic you’re being.”

“Language,” Joshua said mildly.

Jun scoffed. It made complete sense to him that Joshua and Jeonghan were best friends, although he far preferred Joshua patiently humoring him to Jeonghan’s direct dismissal. “I’m just trying to figure out what I did, but clearly I can’t, and no one is going to help me out.”

“I’d think fast if I were you. Things are coming up soon that could make this whole situation way worse.” He ignored Jun’s confused expression.

“Things are… coming up… soon?”

“That’s all I can tell you.” He stood up, finishing the last of his coffee. “I have to go to Bible study now. But you’d better figure it out before it happens. Something that everyone is talking about.” 

 

 

Jun could hear Seungkwan about three minutes before he actually saw him. The younger boy was enthusiastically tabling outside of the student union with Vernon, who was wearing a sweatshirt at least three sizes too large for him.

“Get your tickets for the Winter Formal! It’s less than a week away! They’re selling out fast!” Seungkwan shouted at anyone who passed by while Vernon grinned open-mouthed in support. In front of him, Jun saw Sana and Mina giggle while purchasing tickets, excitedly squealing about dresses and drinking and who was going to ask Momo out first.

He approached the table as the girls left. Seungkwan, busily organizing the cash drawer, ducked his head down and ignored him. Vernon beamed. “Hey, Jun! Here to buy tickets?”

“Er, yeah, hey,” he replied sheepishly. “I totally forgot about this until I heard you guys screaming halfway down the quad.”

“Yo, I’m just helping with logistics. That was all Seungkwan,” Vernon smiled as Seungkwan continued his silent fixation on the cash drawer, tidying an already neatly stacked pile of ten-dollar bills.

“I’m aware,” Jun grinned back. “I’ll take two, thanks.”

“Ey, two tickets, man! Who’s the lucky guy? I bet I can guess.”

“Yeah, I’m bringing Yanan.”

Vernon’s grin abruptly disappeared, his mouth forming a silent ‘oh.’ Seungkwan finally looked up at Jun, carefully expressionless. Jun stared back at them, perplexed.

“Yanan?” Vernon blurted out. He was smiling again, but now it looked a little different from before.

Seungkwan whispered something under his breath, and Jun could have sworn that he said something along the lines of ‘Bitch, don’t you know.’ Seungkwan confused him often, however, so he ignored what he thought he’d heard. “Yeah, Yanan, he’s in my year! I don’t know if you know him –“

“Yanan,” Vernon repeated, his face contorting to balance sheer astonishment and a plastered smile.

Jun would have found the expression grotesque if Vernon were any less handsome. _Maybe he’s high again_ , Jun thought to himself. “Yeah, uh, I asked him about a week ago! Changgu broke up with him again, so he had been having a really bad time. It really cheered him up when I asked him.”

“You know who else had a bad week,” Seungkwan mumbled to himself.

“Yanan!” Vernon exclaimed. “I mean, that’s great! But why – I mean – I thought –“

“Yeah,” Seungkwan interjected loudly. “So you’re taking Yanan, Jun. What a – surprise!”

Unsure of the boys’ strange responses, Jun stared at Seungkwan. “Yeah, he’s… my friend? Is there any problem?”

“Of course not,” Seungkwan exclaimed, nearly shouting. “How nice of you to buy Yanan’s ticket!”

“Um, right,” Jun responded with uncertainty. He fished a twenty-dollar bill out of his wallet and handed it to Seungkwan, who snatched it from him brusquely. “He’s younger than me so I thought I might as well treat him.”

“Fascinating!” Seungkwan said shrilly as he handed Jun two tickets. “Anyway,” he continued, voice beginning to dim to a normal decibel level, “Thank you for supporting the student government and buying tickets. We’re going all out with the catering, so keep an eye out for the appetizer and dessert tables at the dance this weekend when you go with _Yanan_ ,” he emphasized.

“Yanan.” Vernon looked up at the bright winter sky, searching.

“I’ll tell you later, it’s what we’ve been talking about in acapella rehearsal nonstop,” Seungkwan muttered rapidly, hand over his mouth, to Vernon. He looked at Jun again and forced a smile. “Mingyu ordered an insane slew of hors de’oeuvres, Jun. There’s going to be bacon-wrapped scallops, and mini quiches with chorizo or duck breast, and spanakopita, and all these different sushi rolls.”

Jun tried to interrupt – what was that about acapella rehearsal, and what had they been talking about nonstop? – but Seungkwan wouldn’t allow him to get a word in. “And for the dessert table we’re going to have all sorts of eclairs, and lemon tarts with berries, and we’re still trying to work out a way to serve ice cream, but timing is super hard with that. Oh, and since you’re over 21, make sure you stop by the beer garden! It’s going to be a really fun time – Seungcheol is making sure we're pulling out all the stops – so I hope you enjoy the Winter Formal with _Yanan_!” His voice had started escalating again, and he stopped to take a breath. “We’ll see you around, Jun! Just a few more days! Can’t wait to see you and _Yanan_!” Seungkwan cheerily dismissed Jun, who left the table, disoriented and confused.

 _That was weird_ , he thought to himself as he trekked through the student union building, walking past windows newly decorated with Christmas lights. He ducked as he entered the mail room so as to avoid green and red streamers hung across the doorway, a blazing reminder of the upcoming holiday festivities. The thought of bacon-wrapped scallops did, he admitted to himself, help ease the bizarreness of the conversation with Seungkwan and Vernon. He really had thrown the Winter Formal completely out of his mind since Minghao acting strangely towards him had started to consume his entire attention span for the past seven days. Illness has obviously made him forget about it even more. It was as if the past week had detached him from the rest of campus and he was just starting to get back into the reality of student life.

He twisted the combination lock on his mailbox – _13-3-17_ – and opened the tiny door, taking out an envelope addressed from his brother and a colorful slip advertising the Winter Formal. He pocketed his brother’s letter, knowing he would read it later in private, as he mused over the event advertisement. The design of the slip matched the vivid posters tacked to every single wall of the mail center. They seemed a bit late with their advertising this year, Jun noted. Seungcheol and the rest of student government usually started planning for school-wide events like these several months in advance, but the Formal was coming up so soon this time. Just a couple of days away.

His eyes widened. Winter Formal was coming up so soon, and everyone was talking about it.

Hands shaking, he shut his mailbox door.


	3. Rock

The house smelled of weed and cheap alcohol. Minghao slammed the door closed quickly, hoping to keep the mid-November chill outside. He shrugged off his Northface jacket and carefully placed it on the staircase banister, tying the jacket arms together so that no drunk partygoer mistaking it for their own would be able to remove it too easily. “Are you ready?”

Mingyu nodded. “Let’s go down. It’s freezing up here.” He shook his head. “Wonwoo really wants us to drink with him tonight.”

“I’m down. What’s the occasion?”

Mingyu rolled his eyes. “Seungcheol is stressing out because Winter Formal is just four weeks away, and planning has barely started. So Wonwoo bought a ton of alcohol to help him chill out.”

“Good, because I need it.” Minghao shivered.

They carefully made their way down to the basement of the Italian language interest house, Calvin Harris and Dua Lipa’s “One Kiss” reverberating deafeningly off the walls. Mingyu slipped near the bottom of the steps, and Minghao caught him quickly. They had pre-gamed earlier with Jihoon and Jeonghan, who was always more than generous with alcohol.

The ground was sticky from the residue of spilled beer, and Minghao could barely see Mingyu leading the way in front of him in the darkness and noise of the party. As they made their way across the crowded common room, the furniture pushed to the side of the room to make way for the DJ and dancing students too drunk to remember anything, Minghao noticed Soonyoung grinding with Dahyun. He shook his head.

After taking great effort to cross through the mob of dancers without being crushed alive, Mingyu and Minghao finally found their way to the residential hallway. Wonwoo’s room was at the very end. Mingyu knocked loudly, and the door swung open to Joshua’s beaming face flushed red. “Mingyu, Minghao! You guys made it. Come in, come in.”

“Isn’t that my line?” Wonwoo laughed from across the room.

“I was closest to the door,” Joshua slurred. He ushered them in and closed the door. “Have you guys had anything to drink yet?”

Seeing Jun, who was sitting cross-legged on Wonwoo’s bed nonchalantly, Minghao smoothed his hair back nervously. “Uh, we started already –“

“We need alcohol,” Mingyu said loudly. “Minghao is way too sober.” He glared at his roommate accusingly.

“Good, because we have a ton,” Seungcheol replied. He was leaning against Wonwoo’s desk, which had been cleared of all its usual books and gaming equipment to make space for an alarming array of red solo cups, mismatched shotglasses, and liquor bottles. Minghao spotted an out-of-place bottle of red wine, most likely Joshua’s doing.

“I’ll have some wine,” he started, but Seungcheol shook his head.

“Shots,” he said firmly. “None of your hipster wine buddy bullshit here.”

“That’s right. Shots,” Wonwoo echoed. “Tonight we are celebrating Seungcheol turning in his senior thesis –“

“Also I finished the bottle,” Joshua apologized sheepishly. “Sorry, bro.”

“Tonight we are celebrating Seungcheol turning in his thesis and this drunkard is totally wasted and I’m definitely tipsy so you need to catch up, Minghao,” Wonwoo finished. “We have tequila, Jaeger, vodka, Fireball – what do you want?”

“Um,” Minghao grimaced. Shots of Jaeger sounded abominable. “I guess tequila?”

“Everyone, we are doing a group tequila shot,” Seungcheol ordered as Wonwoo began pouring six shotglasses of Espolon. Joshua fished a whole lime out of a used solo cup, but was intercepted by Jun, who had come over to help him cut it into wedges to pass out to everyone.

“Where’s the salt,” Wonwoo muttered.

“I see it.” Mingyu began to hand him the plastic salt shaker, which had been stolen from the dining hall, but ended up knocking over the empty wine bottle. “Fuck – sorry – shit –“

Minghao picked up the wine bottle and set it carefully in Wonwoo’s recycling bin. The boys passed around shots, limes, and the saltshaker. “For you,” Jun said, concentrating hard as he carefully poured a line of salt on the length of Minghao’s thumb.

His hair was parted on the side and styled up and out of his face, which Minghao always liked the most because it let Jun’s eyes – earnest, riveting, always on the verge of a smile – come through without interference from his dark hair that was increasingly in need of a cut. “Thanks.” Minghao hoped he wasn’t blushing.

“A few words, Seungcheol?” Wonwoo asked as they readied themselves.

“I turned in my thesis today,” Seungcheol drawled. “Whether or not it’ll pass the committee is another matter. And now student government needs to plan the Winter Formal, which is happening in, like, four weeks. But who cares right now; let’s fucking drink.” He raised his glass, and the rest of them followed suit. “To senior year!” He lapped up the salt and threw back the shot.

Minghao winced as he felt the warmth of the alcohol travel down his body. As he placed the shotglass back on Wonwoo’s desk, Joshua pushed a cup into his hand. “I made this for you,” he announced proudly. “Try it. It’s delicious.”

“Uh, thanks, man – “

“Delicious,” Joshua emphasized. “I made it, so you know that it’s really good!” He burped delicately. “Drink more and have fun, okay?”

Highly suspicious of the drink in his hand – Joshua had once, after polishing off seven shots in half an hour, mixed room-temperature Bailey’s with pineapple juice, watched it curdle, called it yogurt, and ate it with genuine gusto while Jeonghan screamed his blatant disgust – Minghao made his way over to Wonwoo’s bed. He kicked off his shoes and leaned back against the wall, exhaling deeply. It had been a long week; he and Soonyoung had just resolved another disagreement over choreography.

As he’d expected, Jun followed him. “Hi,” he grinned, climbing onto the bed haphazardly.

“Hi,” Minghao returned. He pretended to not notice how close Jun was sitting to him or how their thighs were touching.

The smell of liquor was thick on Jun’s breath. “I’ve been drinking,” he giggled.

“I can see that,” Minghao smiled back. “How much have you had?”

“Seungcheol and I did a power hour,” Jun said conspiratorially. “A shot of beer every minute for an hour. Joshua just laughed at us and had his bottle of wine.”

Minghao gaped at him. “How are you not –“

“I’m a good drunk,” Jun beamed. “I’m not like Joshua.”

They looked at the older boy, who had picked up Wonwoo’s Guitar Hero controller and was rapping different rhythmic configurations of “Sunday Morning” by Maroon 5. “Joshua is a messier drunk,” Minghao agreed. “But he has such a good recollection of everything that it’s actually kind of amazing. He never blacks out and always remembers the whole night. You, on the other hand…”

“I forget everything.” Jun threw back his head and laughed, his mouth turning upwards into that bean-shaped gaping smile that Minghao found incredibly endearing. “I black out all the time.”

“Too much,” Minghao shook his head, although he couldn’t help but smile.

“Minghao,” Jun said importantly, placing his hand on the younger boy’s thigh.

“Jun,” Minghao responded, looking him directly in the eyes. It took all of his willpower to not look at Jun’s down at hand. He felt himself flush from his neck upwards to the tips of his ears.

“Seungcheol said that the Winter Formal is coming up soon, Minghao.”

“So he did, Junhui.”

“We should go together!” Jun patted Minghao’s thigh excitedly. “You and me!”

Minghao bit his lip and willed all of his concentration away from the bottom half of his body. “We should?” He tried to sound coy but struggled for air. His face felt embarrassingly hot, and he was still too sober for it to be from the alcohol.

“We should,” Jun nodded emphatically. “It would make me,” he traced a smiley face on Minghao’s leg, “Very, very happy!”

Distinctly aware of Joshua watching them with narrowed eyes, Minghao took a sip of his drink, which he immediately spat out back into the cup. _Who mixes Jaeger with –_ “Is this vinegar?!”

Jun looked into the cup and sniffed violently. “No, I think it’s grapefruit juice. We had some leftover so I brought it.” To Minghao’s horror, he took a long sip and smacked his lips. “I don’t really taste anything.”

“You’re too drunk to taste anything,” he said reproachfully.

“And you’re changing the subject, Xu Minghao,” Jun slurred. “You and me, Winter Formal. Do ya wanna?”

“I mean – sure – but –“ he stuttered now, trying all at once to ignore Joshua’s stare, the acidic burn in his mouth, and Jun hand carelessly crawling up toward his pelvis.

“But?”

Minghao forced himself to twist away, rearranging his legs so that he faced Jun directly. “You’re not even going to remember asking me tomorrow.”

The smile dropped from Jun’s face abruptly, his expression visibly upset. _God. He’s so cute when he’s shit-faced drunk_ , Minghao thought despite himself.

“No,” Jun said fiercely, wrapping his hands around Minghao’s, which was still clutching the offensive drink. “I won’t forget this. I know. This is important to me.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.” Jun’s voice was almost pleading. "I really want to go to the Winter Formal with you." 

Minghao knew he could never disappoint that hopeful, open-mouthed smile, those celestial eyes. “Okay,” he agreed, trying not to grin too widely. “Lets go together, me and you.”

“Awwwwww yeeeaaaahhhhhh –“ Jun began, his voice escalating. Joshua, Minghao noted, was watching them very intensely, the Guitar Hero controller completely forgotten. He was relieved that the others were deep in conversation about whether Jihoon would ask out Suhyun or Yoongi, although Wonwoo did seem less attentive to the topic than the rest.

“Promise you won’t forget when you’re sober, okay?” Minghao stood up. “It’s important to me too.”

“Minghaoooooooooooooooo,” Jun screeched. “I’m so glad! Let’s make sure to match our – “

The door burst open forcefully, and Soonyoung, hunched over and dripping in sweat, stood panting in the hallway outside. “Guys,” he wheezed. “Both Dahyun and Changkyun want to hook up with me tonight. They’re both so hot. I can’t decide. Who should I go back home with?”

“Both,” Wonwoo deadpanned.

“At the same time,” Seungcheol snickered.

“Please use protection,” Joshua said softly. He stood up, and Minghao could have sworn that he had winked at him. “Actually, we should go with you. Out, I mean. To the party. I wanna dance.” He pindropped to the floor and knocked over an empty Fireball bottle.

Hoshi’s eyes widened. “Both at the same time,” he mused. “How does that even work?”

Seungcheol clapped him on the shoulder as they filed out of Wonwoo’s room. “Figure it out, big boy,” he laughed. “First time for everything, right?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (For clarification, events in this chapter occur about 2-3 weeks before Chapter 1 begins! Thanks for reading!)


	4. Mansae

Jun paced back and forth across the length of his lab, clenching and unclenching his fists intermittently. The solution he was mixing together dripped slowly through the burette set up on the lab bench and collected into an Erlenmeyer flask directly below. Wheein and Jeongyeon sat at their work stations, actively ignoring him.

The aggressive advertising for the Winter Formal - combined with Seungkwan’s silent hostility at the ticket booth and a sudden burst of insight from his episodic memory - had allowed Jun to finally understand what all of his friends refused to tell him directly: Minghao was upset because of how he had gone and asked Yanan to the Winter Formal just hours after he had drunkenly begged Minghao to be his date. Never mind that it had truly been an innocent gesture of friendship to cheer up a broken-hearted Yanan, or that Jun had been blackout drunk when he had asked Minghao. It hadn’t made his initial invitation any less genuine, or hurt Minghao any less.

Remembering his conversation with Joshua from a few days before, Jun looked at the ceiling, searching for a solution. Minghao would definitely be at the Winter Formal, regardless of whether or not he had a date; Jeonghan and Mingyu would make sure that he had fun, even if it meant making a human barricade between him and Jun. Still, he couldn’t bear to think of how much more hurt Minghao would be if he saw Jun and Yanan going to the Formal in matching bowties like they’d planned, dancing and drinking and eating together like some couple that they weren’t. If only there were some way to clean up this whole mess that he’d made.

Next to the titration setup, Jun’s phone buzzed, lighting up with a single text from Yanan. He stopped pacing and tapped the message to read it.

_This is super sudden, but… Changgu and I got back together_

Stunned, Jun had to remind himself not to hurl his phone across the lab in shock. If it were true - why wouldn’t it be true? - it would conveniently solve so much of his current conundrum. Quickly, he messaged Yanan back. _Really?? CONGRATULATIONS!!!!_

Knees growing weak as he realized what this news could mean, Jun collapsed into his chair. Did this mean that for Winter Formal -

His phone buzzed again. _Thx Jun :) I hope you don’t mind me cancelling our Winter Formal plans_

WIth a huge sigh of relief, Jun texted back as fast as his fingers could manage. _Omg ofc don’t worry!!!!!!!_ He peppered the text box with party popper emojis. _YAY!!!!!!_

 _Thx :) I rly appreciate it btw. Means a lot to me_ , Yanan replied. _Lets get dinner together next week. My treat!!!_

 _Ok :) have fun!!!!!_ Jun exited out of Yanan’s chatbox, trying not to hyperventilate.

It was as if some cosmic power had granted him a rare second chance, presenting him with a blazing neon sign to make amends and right all the wrong he had caused. Hands trembling with both excitement and fear, he opened his chat with Minghao, which had sat untouched for a week. Feverishly, he typed out his message and pressed the send button before he could possibly chicken out. _Hey r u going to practice tomorrow?_

Within seconds, Minghao messaged back. _Yeah_

Jun’s heart was pounding so loudly that he looked around the room to see if anyone had noticed his internal state of frenzied disarray. Nobody seemed aware of his impending heart attack, so he focused on his phone again. _Can u meet me like 15 min b4 practice then? I need to talk 2 u_

A few minutes of radio silence followed. Jun sat down at his bench, tapping his foot nervously against the chair leg. He stopped when Wheein looked up from her microscope and glared at him. “Sorry,” he murmured, eyes locked on his phone screen.

“A watched phone never rings,” she remarked casually, returning to her work.

Jun forced himself to look instead at his solution, now a vivid pink, as it continued to drip into the flask. “Wheein,” he started hesitantly, “Hypothetically speaking, what is a good way to apologize to someone whose feelings you hurt?”

Wheein sat back and looked at him intensely. After a moment’s pause, she tapped her pen against her forehead, thinking. “I mean, I guess it depends on how badly you messed up, right?” She chewed her pen cap absent-mindedly. “But I always think honesty is the best policy. Just… say you’re sorry, and mean it, I guess?”

Jun bit his lip. “But what if being honest means that you have to, like… expose all your feelings for them?”

Swinging her legs nonchalantly, Wheein raised an eyebrow. “So you mean you’re confessing to someone.”

“I mean,” Jun balked, “If you wanted to call it that, yeah.”

Wheein’s perplexed stare was focused enough to bore a hole right through him. “That’s really hard,” she said slowly. “But it might be good to try. Tae and I wouldn’t be together if it weren’t for him being brave enough to confess to me. Cringey as the whole thing was,” she added.

“So you think it’s… a worthwhile thing to do.”

His phone screen lit up, and a single notification for a new message flashed on his screen. It was Minghao. _Ok_ , it read simply.

Glancing from his phone to the shell-shocked look on his face, Wheein smiled faintly. “It was for us.” Her eyes softened. “Like I said. Just be honest. Maybe it’ll be worth it for you too.”  

 

 

The bouquet of pink roses had been quite the hassle to haul all the way to the dance building in the intense December wind, but Jun had managed it without any of the petals flying away. He was twenty-five minutes early to practice, which meant ten minutes early to meet Minghao. This aggressive punctuality was all according to plan, as he wanted time to compose himself and practice the speech he had stayed up until three in the morning writing with the help of Chan and Joshua. The latter had pushed for a musical confession sung to the tune of Maroon 5’s “She Will Be Loved” until Chan had snapped and pointed out Joshua’s lack of dating experience, at which point the older boy retreated sullenly to a separate corner of their common room to complain to Soonyoung and polish his new Boa Hancock figurine.

Shifting the heavy bouquet to one arm, Jun reached into his pocket and took out a small stack of index cards. Though he had generally memorized what he planned to say to Minghao, Jun had still decided to hand-write his speech on notecards, just in case he messed up. The end product of their late-night writing session certainly seemed impressive enough. Chan had sprinkled in a few Michael Jackson quotes that he assured Jun were both real and appropriately thematic to the situation at hand.

Precariously balancing the bouquet in one arm and the notecards in the other, Jun carefully opened the door of the dance studio. To his surprise, the lights were already on - and Minghao sat in the back of the empty room, casually scrolling on his phone. He looked up as Jun walked in. “Hi,” he said blankly.

In his shock, Jun dropped both the bouquet and the notecards, which scattered across the smooth wooden floor, a few landing behind shelves or ducking under chairs. To his horror, a handful of petals fluttered out of the bouquet while a whole rosebud rolled out of the wrapper, now neatly dislocated from its stem. Jun’s stomach lurched; everything about this was going wrong already.

“I - M-Minghao!” he sputtered, much less eloquently than he had hoped. This wasn’t right, or planned - Minghao shouldn’t have been here - _why is he here already?_

“Jun.” Minghao stood up, hands in his pockets.

His eyebrows were angled upwards in - sadness? Was he upset? Jun couldn’t tell. Just over a week ago he had prided himself on always knowing exactly how Minghao felt about everything, but now he couldn’t read him to save his life. “Minghao, you’re - I mean, I’m - “

“You said you needed to talk to me?”

“Not like this, I - I had this whole speech planned, and I was - I mean, I had this grand idea to - God, I’m a mess - “

“What did you want to say?” Minghao’s voice was very quiet.

Jun crossed and uncrossed his arms nervously. “What I - what I wanted to say - was - “

His voice was shaking uncontrollably, and he thought it might crack from panic. The bouquet he had specially ordered was ruined, and the notecards that had taken so long to carefully prepare were splayed out across the floor, useless and completely disorganized. Feeling very small, Jun inhaled deeply and closed his eyes. For a split second, he relived the roller coaster of the past week: Jeonghan’s empty, dismissive smile; Wonwoo’s pointed prodding; Soonyoung’s apologetic excuses; Seungkwan’s cold shoulder. He remembered throwing up in the kitchen sink and Seokmin carrying his sweaty, feverish body and tucking him into bed. Somewhere in the darkest recesses of his mind he recalled tracing a smiley face on the ripped denim of Minghao’s skinny jeans.

He opened his eyes. Minghao stood in front of him, waiting patiently. His dark hair fell over his forehead, gently brushing against the tips of his eyelashes. Jun felt torn between the urge to rush over and smash his mouth onto Minghao’s barely-parted lips and the need to cradle that elfin face between his own two hands.

Hating himself, Jun exhaled. Minghao was waiting for him.

“I know why you’ve been upset. It’s at me. I mean - obviously. I promise and plead with you to go to Winter Formal together, and then the next day I turn around and I ask someone else. I - you deserve to be upset with me.” He swallowed.

Minghao’s face was expressionless, an impasse that Jun could never breach.

“So I know it doesn’t really matter,” he continued, “That I asked Yanan only because I felt bad for him, and that I’m not interested in him at all. Not the way I - I’m - I’m interested in you, Minghao. I like - I like you. I like you _so much_ ,” he said emphatically.

It could have been his imagination, but Jun could have sworn he saw Minghao’s face relax the tiniest bit. Desperate, he told himself that it was a good sign. “I like your eyes, and your nose, and your lips. I like how you move when you dance, and when I watch you practice your b-boying, I think - God - I’m lucky to just dance next to you and pretend to be half as good.”

A flicker of a smile flashed on Minghao’s face. Emboldened, Jun stepped forward. “I like that you eat vegetables with all your meals, even though I hate vegetables. I like how you practice English every week with Jeonghan even though it’s hard for you, and how you taught Chan to make fancy ramen to show off to Jieqiong. I like how hard you work at photography, and how you got Wonwoo to come out of his shell by having him be your model. I like how you hold my hand before we perform at competitions, and how you always remember that it’s my birthday, even when I forget. I like how you volunteer at the children’s hospital on weekends. I like that you never get drinks with ice. I like the way you used to always look at me, like everything is special, and all I want is for you to look at me like that again because I like everything about you.”

Jun suddenly realized that he was only inches away from Minghao’s face. _When did I - ?_

“In fact,” he gulped, “I think that maybe I love you.”

He was close enough to hear the movement of Minghao’s eyelashes as his eyes traveled up and down Jun’s face. It was silent for what felt like several eternities, long enough for Jun to crumble and die in shame, the particles of his body dissolving into the dirt where he belonged. He wanted to run away and have Soonyoung high kick him into oblivion, and maybe if Joshua supplied enough wine, they could all just wipe him from their collective memories -

“It’s a little early for love, Junhui,” Minghao breathed, his voice barely audible.

Had he full control of his body, Jun would have flung himself out the window - not that it would have done anything, as they were on the first floor of the building. Paralyzed, he settled for opening and closing his mouth repeatedly.

“Why don’t you,” Minghao continued slowly, his hand reaching out to cup Jun’s cheek with the lightest touch, “Start by going to the Winter Formal with me?”

 

 

“I’m so full,” Seungkwan complained as he polished off his seventh chocolate eclair.

“You should be dancing,” Soonyoung chided between bites of chorizo tart. “If you alternate between dancing and eating, you can actually eat a whole lot more.”

“We can’t all have your stamina, bro.” Seungkwan rolled his eyes. “Plus, I’m waiting for Vernon to show up. He and Wonwoo were supposed to be here by now.” He scanned the room anxiously. “I’m waiting for them to get here so we can take a group selfie!”

“You’d have to pry those two apart first,” Jihoon nodded toward Jun and Minghao, who were slow-dancing together despite the DJ blasting Cardi B’s “Bodak Yellow” through the auditorium.

The dance floor, dimly illuminated by strings of Christmas lights, was clogged with groups of intoxicated students, but Jun was practically sober. Ignoring everyone around him, he gently pressed his forehead against Minghao’s. “I’m really happy we ended up going together,” he beamed.

Minghao’s laugh was soft, but Jun could hear the genuine pleasure buried in it. “Don’t get too happy yet, Jun. The night’s not over.”

“So let’s keep it going,”  Jun said coyly.

“Big words for someone who still hasn’t kissed me yet,” Minghao returned, coquettish and sly.

Jun’s eyes widened, and he barely managed to keep swaying, suddenly hyperaware of the pressure of Minghao’s arms draped on his shoulders. “I - Minghao - you - ”

Minghao brushed his hair back, and Jun looked at his lips, soft and pouting and pink. He had never dared to imagine this moment, always fearing he’d be disappointed, that he’d never be able to maintain a normal friendship with Minghao, that it would be awkward forever. But now, as the DJ switched to Carly Rae Jepsen’s “Run Away With Me” and Minghao stood inches away from him, waiting patiently - as he always did -

 _Fuck it_ , Jun thought, and pressed his lips against Minghao’s. Just friendship would never be enough for him anymore.

He closed his eyes; Minghao tasted like Merlot and spearmint toothpaste. Jun felt the younger boy’s thin fingers press against the back of his head, and even though he couldn’t see it, he could feel the corners of Minghao’s lips curl into a smile.

Behind him, Seungkwan screamed unintelligibly. “Fucking finally!” he shrieked, throwing his empty paper plate into the air. Soonyoung and Seokmin climbed onto the nearest table, stomping and wolf whistling and howling their approval like celebratory fireworks booming into the night while Jihoon rolled his eyes and continued chewing on his bacon-wrapped scallop. Jun pressed his chest into Minghao’s as he leaned his head back to gasp for air.

“Ignore them,” Minghao muttered, still smiling.

His advice was unnecessary as Jun leaned in again, happily preoccupied and oblivious to the rest of the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed! Thanks for reading :) I had wanted to incorporate more OT13 but ultimately decided to give Junhao as much time as possible. Also I'm really foreign to romance genre and confession scenes but it was a good thing to try LOL


End file.
